so what does it mean to die?
this is not to write a last will and testament because i do not have anything to leave anyway...
this is to remind me of the many realities in dying to self for the sake of others...so that i may live...

ayokong mamatay lang ng basta-basta...gusto ko kapag namatay ako yun bang tahimik lang pero inaasahan na...expected...so that people will not be surprised and i will have a chance to ask forgiveness and to offer forgiveness din if ever...but this is not what i really want to talk or write about...i believe i am not scared of dying...it's more of the fear to leave those who are important to me...those whom i love and have come to love...

but this death is necessary...not for my sake but for the sake of those i love...because only in dying to myself do i become alive for others...to put them first ahead of me...this is the call i've said yes to...do i dare turn my back from it...

but how can i talk of dying when i myself have not really died...marami pa ring aspeto ng buhay ko na kailangang ako ang mauna...di pa ako natututo...

kaya nga talagang agony ito...mahirap...masakit...masaklap...